Another Year

It is not even the end of the summer yet and I am already thinking about going back to school. Maybe the reason I am thinking so much about this year is that this is the last year I will be in school for awhile. While I have always found university to be stressful, I'm sure that there will be some things that I will miss. Things like having my weekends free to do what I want and being able to sit and discuss philosophical ideas.

This is just another year that is coming up in my life and retrospect, I'm sure it won't be as earth shattering as I think it is going to be. There will be quite a few things to plan for and many things I am really looking forward to. I'm really excited about all the things I get to learn. I know that that will be exciting.

I'm one of those strange people who loves to learn. Having one more year to simply learn and absorb knowledge is so appealing. It's much harder to learn when there are so many other things to do in life. Things like making other people the priority or spending long hours making plans for just one day. For eight months I simply get to learn. Perhaps some things I really don't care about, but perhaps some things I do. Cheers to another year.

Having It All

At some point in the tradition my best friends and I have of watching Sex in the City, we decided that we would choose the most similar character to our personalities. Long story short, I am Charlotte. Admittedly, I am in quite a few ways. Because of that, one of her lines from the new movie resounded deeply with me.

Charlotte said that because she had it all, she was so afraid that something was going to happen to take it all away. As egotistical as it may sound, right now I feel as though I have it all. I have all that I need and all that I want. At twenty, I know where I will be for the next few years, and I know who I will spend them with. All my dreams have fallen into place, almost when I wasn't looking. All I have ever wanted is now a part of my life. I'm not quite as worried about losing it though.

I have found that it is human nature to worry about getting all that we want and what we find necessary. When we have all of what we find necessary, we either worry about getting more, or losing what we have. Or both. Some of us are good at multi-tasking.

I wonder why we all have the deep ability to worry about everything. I know that I worry and I also know that it is unnecessary and does nothing good. Stopping the worry in my life is something I am working on.

I am aware that all I have in my life may not seem like much to many people, but it is what I need. Maybe the secret of having it all is simply being happy with all that you have. I know that I am.

Making Plans

The part that I hate most about going home is all the well-meaning acquaintances who ask what my plans are for the future. None of these people are within 10 years of my age or they would know that this question should never be asked. It is only those who have past the major decision making point in their lives and can simply observe those who are struggling to make the big decisions that will change our lives forever.

For those of us making the decisions that will affect the course of our lives, this all really sucks. There is simply no more poetic way to put it. When we have no idea what we want to do, the response is always a condescending smile and the phrase, "Don't worry. You have time to figure it out." It's strange that when we say we have plans and know where we are going to be that we don't get a more positive response. When I say that I have plans and know where I'm going, I get a shocked look and the phrase, "Oh! You know what you are going to do?" Why is it a bad thing to have no plans and also a bad thing to know where you are going to?

I used to have no plans. I sort of knew where I wanted to go, but I had no idea how to get them. Now I have plans. I have a whole lifetime of plans and goals and dreams. And I have someone to share them with. Not everything is going to go exactly the way I want them to, but I want to make the plans anyways. And I will continue to do so. Tomorrow will always be there and there will always be something else to do.

Love

Love. That scary thing that comes after the problems of trying to find love. So many people whine about the trials and tribulations of looking for love at different ages and how hard it is to find love. The thing that they don't realize is that the hard part isn't finding love, but love itself.

When you are trying to find love, you may change who you are for short periods of time when you are looking to find love. The reality about finding love though, is that you have to be yourself. You only get to be not yourself for a short period of time before it truly becomes exhausting. When it does, you have to go back to being who you are. If you don't, then it really isn't love.

Love is the part when you have be able to ready to commit to someone. Committing to someone requires compromise, an ability to not always get your own way, a lot of patience and a lot of love. Loving someone is really the hardest part of finding love. When you find someone. That is the part that is really hard, even though no one mentions it.

The strange part is that no one ever mentions how the work is totally worth it.