Moving On to Something Important

There was a prayer at chapel one night that really touched my heart. It got to me especially because of the year I have had, the relationships I have developed and all the ways I have grown. The prayer was about ordaining homosexual clergy in different branches of the Christian church. The plea was to move on to something important.

I have admittedly never understood the arguments and divisions in the Christian church. I think that everyone should be free to believe and act in a way that their own conscious dictates as opposed to treaties that were written centuries ago by the members of the church. No one should have a right to dictate the beliefs of another person's conscious. My own personal feelings seem to have little or no impact on the world in which I live. There will always be those in the world who seek to impose their own point of view on those around them as opposed to allowing the basic rights of freedom of thought and action.

If the freedom to choose was always allowed, there would be no need for such rigid divisions in the church. We would not argue about who is worthy of being loved and who is not. The important part is my own plea for the church to move onto something important. Move on to the acceptance and right of all to love and be loved, the right for all to be cared for and have enough. The sad thing is that many people would prefer to argue about who to keep out of the church instead of who to let. Maybe that is really the important thing to think about.

Fearing Life

"Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life." ~Brecht

Something I have noticed more intensely over the past few years is how so many people are unwilling to entertain the possibility of their own death. We all die though. The mortality rate for life really is 100%. No amount of money or medical advancement is going to change that fact.
In light of this fact, why are so many people afraid of death? Death is a part of life. I believe in life after death although I am aware that not everyone does. Maybe that is why some people fear death so much, because that is the end of the story.

The reality is that death is not what is very frightening. What is frightening is that life might not be what you wanted it to be. Everyone always has the dreams in their lives that they were waiting to for the right day to make come true. The reality is that each and every day is chance to make your dreams come true.

In the community I live in, there are always deaths and passings. There are also always celebrations of what the life has taught and contributed to all those around them. It is the most interesting thing that the people who most touch the lives of those around them are not the millionaires in the world. They are simply people who live and interact with the world in a different way than many of us do. Because of the different ways that they interact with the world, they are able to contribute to the world around them and make those around them see themselves differently. The most important lesson that I have learned from those I live with is to never fear life.

Many of the core members in the community do not have the same concept of the future and planning for the future that much of the world does. They live every day to the fullest potential and it is so hard to not do the same when you are with them. There is always great joy in moments, as well as great sorrow. There is no comparison of what is better and what is worse. There is simply the moment that you are in. That makes for a more than adequate life. It makes for an incredible one.

Someone to Share With

"Life's special moments are more exceptional when we have someone to share them with." ~Warren Henderson

There was a meeting of all the assistants a few weeks ago. One of the things that we talked about in the meeting were the moments and events that we were most thankful for in this community. What I found very interesting about the moments people mentioned is that not one of the moments was anything out of the ordinary.

My most special moment or memory is that of Saturday morning breakfasts I would always make big plates of pancakes and everyone would be around when they were up. There is nothing extraordinary about that, but for me there was.

Over the past months, I have come to realize even more how incredible each and every moment is. There has never been anyone in my life who is so constantly, solidly there before now, with me in the little moments and the big ones. I know what it feels like now and I really like it. Every little moment becomes something very special. Things like going grocery shopping or driving home are an exciting part of my life. Things like having fresh flowers in the house are always something more than just having flowers. It means something.

I know that I will always find special moments when I am in community. I know that I will also be able to find extraordinary memories in very ordinary moment every day for the rest of my life because I will always have someone to share the moments with.

Hard to Love

I am officially back in my community. I am in a different house than I have been for the past two summers. There is nothing wrong with that although it is difficult for me.

I am totally aware of the fact that I am not always easy to love. I am reminded on a regular basis that I am a stubborn-assed Irish woman and I know that I am. I can be hard to get to know and hard to get close to, even though it doesn't always seem that way. I am hard to love. I also know how hard it can be to love someone.

It is very hard to open up your heart in order to love someone. You have to be ready to love the bad days as well as the good. There are always going to be difficult aspects of loving any person. I'm not the only person who it can be hard to get close to.

The hardest part of being in a relationship is not necessarily loving someone, but the ability to remain in a relationship, regardless of how far away you are. I am not talking necessarily about romantic relationships although being far from the one you love is the hardest thing in the entire world. It is the friendships that are so hard to be away from.

Every summer I get to live in community. At the end of every summer, I have to leave the community. I know that every year I have to leave to do something that is very important for me, but that doesn't make leaving hurt any less.

It is so very easy to care for the people that live with. It is so simple to love them while I live here. The hard part is when I have to leave. Just because you have to leave a place does not mean that you stop loving anyone by any stretch of the imagination. IT would be much simpler if that did happen. I am only too aware of how much it hurts to be apart from someone you love right now. I also know how hard it is to not love the people who you share your life with.

I wish it was a little bit easier to love people. I wish that there were days that I was easier to love. Although if it was easier to love people, it wouldn't be nearly as rewarding.

Preserved in Memory

I love amber. I find it to be the most fascinating way to make jewellery and also to preserve history. Perhaps the reason I find it so fascinating is that there are so many times in my life that I want to preserve.

There was a funeral in my community this past week. Incidentally this was also my first week back at work. I will be the first to admit that such an event makes for a long first week in the community. That and the fact that I seem hell bent on driving myself into the ground this summer, but that seems to be a whole different story.

Every year I get to come back to the community that I love so much. The only problem is that every time I come back it is no longer the community I have in my memory is not quite the one that I come back to. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that the community has changed. As my new house leader so often says, "Change is good." If there was no change in the community, the community would begin to die. The element of change that comes with acceptance and welcome is one of the best elements of living in community. It is however hard to be changed as a part of the element of change that exists as part of the community.

The beautiful thing about being a part of this community is that even though the community has changed and so have I, I am still welcomed back with open arms and hearts. All those who have come before me, left the community or passed away are all remembered and celebrated in our memories. It is not really the same as being able to preserve the community that I love in amber, but memory works very well.