Pushing Boundaries

I am a shy, introverted person. I am most comfortable with myself, when I don't have a lot of attention. I love to sing, when I think no one is listening, or not a lot of people are listening. I pray when I can pray alone and quietly. I dance only when I think no one is watching. I'm learning that these are more flexible boundaries than I had once held them to be.

Over the past year I have pushed many of my boundaries. Most of this is because of someone I met last year who has been a great friend to me. He constantly questions me and wants to push me to try new things. I have half climbed a tree and gone skinny dipping because of him. He has gotten me to take chances that I otherwise wouldn't have and has stopped me from taking some very stupid ones.

Since then, I have met someone else who pushes my boundaries. Not my physical ones, as there is no tree climbing in the future for the two of us, but most of my other ones. In the past month, I have learned and gotten comfortable with the idea of praying out loud. Well, more comfortable with it. I have sung someone to sleep who is not half my age or scared of thunder storms. I haven't yet danced because . . . I'm not actually sure why. I'm sure I will in the next few weeks because it's something that I love.

It's strange to think that we set such a large number of boundaries in our lives. We set them without realizing and then allow them to become written in stone, almost like the space between railroad tracks. Many of the things we do are governed by the idea of staying within who we are. Staying within our boundaries are fine. Sometimes that's the best thing to do. The strange part of staying within our boundaries is that the people we most enjoy being with are the ones who push us a little out of our boundaries. The ones who ask us to take a chance, to make a leap in a direction that we wouldn't otherwise do. These are the ones who are there more often than not when we fall after making the leaps we were pushed to.

Pushing boundaries is something that doesn't happen often enough. We are too often content with where we are that we forget that there is something outside of the boundaries that we have. Some have accused me of living within my boundaries by living in community in the summer and not wishing to live outside of such a thing. Perhaps they are correct in that, but maybe they are not. If they were able to see how far I am pushed in so many ways when I am in the community, then they would not say this is a safe area. Regardless of where I am, I will have my boundaries pushed. It just depends on which direction I am going to be stretched.