A Broken Heart

A line from one of my favourite books says that sometimes we can break our hearts in exactly the right way. Until today, I never had any idea what that meant. It's possible I still don't really know what was meant by that, but I have discovered exactly what it means for me, right here and right now.

I'm at my favourite place in the world right now. My cottage. A small wood cabin nestled in amongst huge trees. I'm becoming reacquainted with all the places I used to know so well. It's quiet here. So quiet all I hear is the wind in the trees and the waves lapping at the shore. There are no phones ringing and no one demanding my immediate attention. I love it here because I get to relax to a level I don't often get to sink to. Oddly enough, as much as part of my is here, part of it is not.

Most of my heart remains far from my northern oasis. It is split amongst the people whom I love and care for. Some of those people are in my hometown, others in London at school. Many are scattered in various regions, but most are at the place where I work. I have the deep and abiding relationships in my life there, the teaching ones, the supportive ones and a romantic one. Pieces of my heart rest with each person who has touched my life. Because of that, my heart is in a state of brokenness.

For the first time in my life, my heart is broken in a way that brings me no sorrow. The pieces of my heart don't give me a reason to mourn, but instead to rejoice. Those who I love have a piece of my heart regardless of whether the love is returned or not. I think this is what it means to have a broken heart in the right way.

So many of us are afraid of having our hearts broken that we won't even entertain the idea that there might be a right way to break your heart. The idea of having a broken heart is a thought that should bring only pain. The reality is that it doesn't always. Sometimes it brings more joy than you could have though possible. Sometimes it allows you to grow, see something new and experience something different. Sometimes you break your heart in the right way, like only you can.