Missing the Dance

Returning to my ever present country music obsession, there was a great Garth Brooks song I heard recently that I haven't heard in awhile. It's called "The Dance." I heard it played at a memorial service which was quite perfect. It is a song that talks about what has been lost, but how much it meant.

I have been told that I get into relationships too quickly and don't really think about what I'm doing. Maybe that's true and maybe it's not. But the reality is that I love to dance and I will never turn down the chance to take a spin on the dance floor.

One of my friends, who was in a long term relationship at the time, told me he was envious watching me get into so many new relationships. There's always the glow and the mystery that accompany the beginning of new relationship. It's fun to get to know someone in ways that you hadn't before and it's exciting to not really be sure where something is going to go. I've known this friend since I was two years old so he really has seen the glow of all my beginnings.

At the time he told me this, my last beginning had ended. I realized I was envious of him because he had something that hadn't ended. I was younger then and desperately wanted a relationship that would last. That desire has not gone away, but has simply lost its edge of desperation. I have faith that there will be a beginning without an end. I also know that I can't have that if I decide to stop having beginnings.

The line from the song that struck me most is this. "Now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance." Perhaps I'm unusual because I will always choose to dance. I know there will be pain at some points, but even if I knew how my beginnings would end, I would have taken the beginnings anyways.

The reason I am so willing to take the chance and step out onto the dance floor is because I know the secret. There will always be starry-eyed, forever-wishing beginnings and there will be a lot of tear filled endings. But the best part is what happens in between. In between the learning of the steps and stepping on some toes and simply wanting to spin apart, there is the chance to really dance and enjoy every second of it.

Most people will agree with me that the fairy tale beginnings of relationships are fantastic and the endings can be horrific. Neither of those are the reason why I keep taking the chance. I keep taking the chance because I really do love to dance. I was just looking for the right partner. Maybe I will take my last dance, for the rest of my life. Maybe I won't. I do know that I won't risk missing out on the dance.