A Sure Thing

At big family meals, my grandfather has a tradition of always giving his grandchildren who clear the table a tip. The tip has yet to change over the years and it is this. Don't bet on the horses.

After twenty years of hearing that familiar refrain from my grandfather, it has become more of a joke and a comfort that some things will never change. I never thought there would be so much value and wisdom in something that I have grown up hearing.

Gambling is not really a good idea. Especially if it becomes compulsive. I suppose that can be said about anything that rises to the level of obsession, but this has a greater affect on functioning in daily life than perhaps being addicted to drinking coffee. When gambling on horses, many people say that you can bet on a "sure thing." This means that the horse is going to win and you will get a return on your money. The reality is that this doesn't always happen. The idea is there though.

The opposite idea to that is the idea of betting on a "long shot." This means that if, by some miracle, this horse does win, you will get a large return on your money because there will be so many people who have bet against that horse and no one really believes it will win. A sure thing and a long shot are the most basic ideas of betting on anything really, but most easily transcribed into betting on horses for the purposes of this tangent of mine.

For a long time, some people would have described me as a sure thing. I'm the one who has had the goals and the dreams with the drive to make them happen. Being a sure thing, I tended to attract, for the most part, guys who were long shots. They weren't really sure where they were going and it was comforting for them to have someone in their life who wanted to be able to provide a touch of stability.

During those years, I really did want to be a sure thing. I wanted to be the one who had the committed relationship, the life that I could simply step into after graduation with the degrees and skills I needed to pursue my dreams. I wasn't though. Regardless of what those around me thought (domestic being high on the list) I wasn't a sure thing. I have the dreams and the drive, but the dreams changed. A lot. And they continue to change. Maybe that's part of the reality of being a student. Maybe it's simply how life works for those of us who are hitting their quarter life crisis. Our dreams do change and what we have to do to pursue our goals has to change accordingly.

I'm not really sure what I am now. I am less of a long shot than I used to be. I don't know if that makes me a consistent sure thing. I know that I want to be a sure thing. I also know that I can't be that for everyone though. And I can't try. That is fair to no one in my life. I can be a sure thing for someone though. Maybe that's all it takes. One person to take a leap of faith and be willing to believe that I can go from being a long shot to a sure thing. Or maybe I'm destined to remain a long shot who wins by a nose.