Turn Back Time

I was listening to some pop music last night which is not something I often do. One of the lines from the song struck me. "If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I'd take back all the things that have hurt you and I'd stay." I was thinking about that line, mostly just the beginning of it. What would happen if I could turn back time? What would I choose to undo and how would I change my life?

The answer I came up with is that I wouldn't. There are things that I haven't liked about my life, and there are things I wish hadn't happened. Just because I haven't liked things, or would like to know how things would turn out if I had taken the other path. It would be nice to know if I could have done it all and had it all. I don't think I could have though. I made the choices that I made. I came to the place where I am at right now.

I don't want to turn back time because that would mean changing so many things. I probably wouldn't have the job that I have now. I wouldn't know what real joy is or real sorrow. I could have stayed with another relationship that I was in, but that would mean giving up that one that I have now, and there is no way that I'm willing to do that.

I wonder how many people wish that they could turn back time and would, given the chance. I wonder what it takes in the past to make someone wish things had turned out differently. I also wonder why they don't just change the present. We are a product of all that has come before us and are a legacy to all that comes after us. To wish to change that past means that we wish to change the present. We can come to resent who we are because of what has happened to us, sometimes what we think we have let happen. Life is a constant process of becoming though. We can choose to become someone else, more ourselves whenever we want to. We can use what has happened to us, or we can ignore. The only we don't get to do is change it.

If I could turn back time, I don't think I would. It's not worth it. I would get to see something more, but I would lose so much of what I've seen. I would still leave what I left, because it's all been leading to where I am.