Mature Relationship

It's strange to see how relationships change as you get older. Sometimes it happens gradually. Other times is seems to happen all in one day. But they do change. As we mature, so do our relationships. When we are younger, our parents are our parents, not necessarily our friends. When we get older we realize that our parents can be our friends too. They are people we can call when we have a bad day or need some advice. It can be hard for them to realize that too though. Parents always want what is best for their children and don't always understand the choice their children make. We do develop a deeper relationship with our parents that is less need based and more want based. That's the part that makes it mature.

Our friendships also begin to change. The opinion of our friends is solicited, but less life changing than it may have once. We also realize that we don't have to talk to our friends every single day, or consult them on every decision to have them be a part of our lives. Sometimes it can be the ability to connect over a cup of coffee after three months apart that makes it so mature. Occasionally there will be some jumping around when you see each other again and there will always be happiness, but you do connect on a different level than you once did. It won't be the "major" decisions, such as what to wear for a first date, that occupy your time, but deeper things. Maybe not the meaning of life, but the decision to move to a different country, get married or have a child. You can talk openly and honestly about the fears you have and the new joys that you have discovered. There are more opportunities open to you and you embrace them with your friends there to support you. They won't make the decisions for you, but they won't leave you if you make the choice they don't necessarily like.

The most marked place in our lives that our relationships change is the way in which we view our romantic relationships. In high school, relationships are usually a status symbol. You were worthy if you had someone to speak for you. It made sense for the popular people to pair off together and the un-cool ones are left behind. Forever is a word that is used often and not meant at all. As we mature we realize that what we look for has changed as well. We want someone who is there to support us and not just because they are there. We are willing to make concessions in our lives for someone who loves us, like moving to another province or another country. We make life decisions based with the knowledge that we are loved in a way that is meant to last, not until the end of the school year, but until the end of our lives. We meet those we get involved with in different ways as well. Sometimes at work, or through a dating service or through friends. They are not usually the captain of the football team, or the leader of the cheerleading squad. They didn't always win the track and field competition. Mostly, they are average people who become extraordinary to us. Not everyone is able to see what we see when we look at them, but we do and we understand.

Mature relationships do not look for the most popular person, or the one with the most medals. They look for someone who accepts and someone who supports. Maturity brings the acceptance of others that allows us to grow in relationships. It brings the clarity we need to choose relationships that help us to grow and flourish when we wouldn't otherwise. The maturity we see our relationships in allows us to become more mature and open to love and accepting love. We know that not everything has the ability to last forever, but we are able to accept that and enjoy what we have anyways. Sometimes things will fail and we will get hurt, but we know that we will move on and continue our lives.

Whether we want them to or not, we change as we get older. And so do our relationships.