And Her Tears Flowed Like Wine . . .

Warning for anyone who talks to me for the next few days: I am weepy. I seem to be unable to locate a specific reason for that right now. I want to be able to blame the hormones that exist in my home, but they shouldn't make me weepy now. It may be the amount of stress I am under, but that happens a lot to me too. So just so everyone is aware, if you are not willing to deal with my tears, I wouldn't suggest talking to me at the end of the day for a long period of time.

That being said, I'm finding it incredibly satisfying to be able to cry like that. I don't think I have cried like that all year. There is very little more satisfying or emotionally cleansing as a deep laugh or a good cry. Sometimes that's just what you need. It can be a cleansing thing more than an emotional thing. It can be absolutely nothing the sets me off, or something major that really has been on my mind for the past few weeks. Sometimes a combination of both.

It's also made me wonder about how people react to those who cry. Crying in public seems to be a taboo event in society. We tend to accept crying only when there is a) serious injury or b) a death, mostly in immediate family. Crying in movies is ok, on the basis that no one can see you in a dark movie theater. That's only alright when the movie is sad. When the movie is remotely happy, or even just slightly emotional, you will get strange looks if you reach for a Kleenex. Which is really too bad. I find that I've gotten accustomed to getting strange looks as I tend to cry in many movies. I still get mocked by my friends who are, inevitably, never as weepy as I am. I don't get it though. Why are we so unwilling accept the extreme ranges of emotion in public? Why have we decided as a society that emotions are something that are best left behind locked doors?

We would be a lot healthier if we were willing to express how we feel in a pure and honest way. If we decided that we would be all right with crying when we feel sad and laughing when we are happy, life would be a lot easier. We wouldn't feel the need to hide how we feel from those around us and relationships would also be a lot less complicated. It may only be in North America that this occurs. European countries are alternately more emotional or less than we tend to be.

At this point I'm becoming more all right with crying. Some people will be afraid of me, I'm sure. That happens. But it's not my fault. I've simply found the place in myself where I am comfortable with my emotions and the display of them. I do apologize for those who have to watch me cry and know that they can do nothing at this point. You'll live. And I will feel so much healthier for letting my tears flow . . . something like wine . . .