The Idea of Marriage

I played at a wedding yesterday and it was an interesting experience in my life. Every wedding that I play at is different in my life and they have the power to evoke very different emotions in my life.

The wedding I played at was a beautiful simple ceremony. The location was perfect and there was an interesting connection to the family of the couple. I felt good as it was the first time I had seriously played all summer. The looks of joy I got were more than enough to get me through the pain that was in my arms. It was the perfect temperature and there a little boy who kept making eyes at me.

Many of the weddings leave me wanting someone to share parts of my life with. This time though, I didn't have to wish for someone to spend part of my life with. I've already found that. For much of my life, I have loved the idea of being married. I've wanted to get married as soon as I can. Interestingly enough though, today did not leave me wanting to get married right away. It left me feeling as though I may be able to wait a few years for something I've hoped for for all of my life.

Perhaps the reason I had hoped for desperately to get married at all the other weddings I have played at is because I didn't have someone to share the best and the worst parts of my life. I do now and that leaves me with the desire to have a wedding someday, just not right now.

The idea of marriage has gained a much more complicated definition for me over the years. I used to think simply of the wedding day, flowers and a beautiful white dress. Now I realize that those things are not at all important when it comes to making a marriage. They are nice to have for one day, but it is the waking up in the morning, getting up to get the crying child in the middle of the night, caring for each other and helping each other to grow that truly make a marriage. It is the small gestures of love that create a loving marriage and a good relationship. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and that knowledge will lead to an easier marriage. There will be days when there are mistakes to deal with and some hard times that you will have to get through.

A marriage is more than a wedding. The wedding is simply the beginning. A marriage is every morning, ever night and every day for the rest of your life.