Vanity, Thy Name is . . Martha

I'm not usually a vain person. I'm not the one who wakes up early in order to make sure that I can put "full" makeup on, or spend hours in front of the mirror trying to make her hair behave exactly the way it's supposed to. For me, hair is supposed to be the way it looks when it comes out of the shower, and makeup only gets put on for some very rare occasions. Most days the clothes I wear are the first things that come out of my closet that match, even if it is only remotely. Until today, I didn't even have foundation in my possession. There was something compeling me to get some today, and while I know where the feeling came from, I cannot entirely fathom it.

It seems to be that when I have a date, any form of date, even if it is only a date with a friend, I seem to feel the need to find makeup and wear it. I'm not sure why. Perhaps I feel the need to feel beautiful, even though the men I go out with have all seen me without makeup. For some reason, the fact that I'm going out at night seems to bring out the diva in me, the need to be seen and appreciated for how I look when I make an effort. It seems ridiculous, but my vanity is how I look when I try to look good. I know what I look like when I make no effort, and somedays that still can seem good. But tonight, and every night, my vanity is making an appearance.

So as I get ready to out into the darkness to meet up with a dear friend, I know that I will be vain, just for a few hours.