The Calm of Chaos

There was one point in my life when I thought that I was meant to live a life of solitude and peace. I would be able to move from place to place and not really have to stay in one place for a long period of time. I would just be able to fly under the radar of those I lived near and no one would really miss me if I left. I was so wrong.

I lead a relatively quiet life when I am at school. I am surrounded by books and a few close friends who are not to distracting from what I am hoping to accomplish there. That is one reality that I am still attempting realize. My actualy reality is no longer a quiet life.

Every summer I get to come and live in community. This life that I have chosen is far from quiet. There are very few periods of peace and rest. It is mostly a game of attempting to keep up relationships and involvments in the lives of the ten other people I live with and maintain the house around us so that there aren't any huge spiders taking over the corners, or dust and pieces of yarn piling up on the floor. There are usually three different CDs being played at any given moment, most especially when we are trying to make dinner. There is yelling and fighting and mediating, sometimes between the assistants as well as the core members.

In the end, there really is no place that I would rather be than right there. In the midst of the chaos that I have come to love I really have found the peace that I am looking for. Perhaps part of growing up and becoming mature is the realization that you don't have to avoid everything order to find the peace that you are looking for. Sometimes the quiet life can be overrated and less peaceful than planting yourself firmly in the middle of the chaos.