The Tyranny of Perfection

In the past decade, stress levels have risen, or at the very least, the attention that stress levels have gotten has risen. Stress levels in parents, stress levels in teenagers, and even stress levels in children. There are many hypotheses for the reason for this and this is mine.

Of all the tyrannical forces in society, perfection has become the greatest. Every minute of every day we are inundated with messages that we are not good enough. We are not thin enough, we are not beautiful enough, we are not smart enough, we are aging too fast. Basically, as we have not yet reached, nor will we ever reach, a status equal to God, we are not perfect.

Despite the fact that we know we will not be perfect there is constant pressure to be so. Teenagers are supposed to get the highest grades in class, be involved in extracurricular activities, develop and maintain friendships, have a job and figure out what they are supposed to do with their lives. The pressure only continues in post-secondary education. After high school, you are supposed to choose a path of education which will determine in which career you spend the rest of your life, figure out who you are, and find a partner, because once you leave the educational system, the likelihood of finding a partner of similar interests decreases exponentially. As if the pressure in this educational atmosphere is not enough, the quest for perfection only continues in life after school.

If you are in a committed relationship, then it is supposed to be a perfect one. If you are not, then you are "supposed to" be pursuing the "perfect" relationship. Men are under pressure to be the main breadwinner for families and women are now portrayed as both career women and housewife. The reality is that no one can put up with the pressure to be perfect. It is simply not within our reach.

Every day in what I do with my life, I become more and more aware of the gap between my life and the ideal of perfection. To say the not every day goes as planned would be an understatement of massive proportions. The house does not get cleaned every day and not everyone always gets along with each other. I am certainly not perfect. I spend too much time sitting still and not enough time accomplishing . . . well, at this moment, I am not really sure what, but something. I have escaped the tyranny of perfection, at least for the year, before I attempt to become the perfect rector's wife and resume the role of perfect student. For this year at least, I will be content with my favorite phrase from Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way.

The Importance of History

I live in a country where everyone is from somewhere else. Even the native Canadians originally came from somewhere else in the distant past. Perhaps it is because we are all from somewhere else that we cling so desperately to where we have come from.

It always astonishes new assistants at Daybreak when Canadians proudly proclaim "My family is German." They then question if we can speak German and become somewhat confused when it turns out to really be our great-grandparents who immigrated from Germany. I admit that I am one of those Canadians. My mother's mother's parents immigrated to Canada from Hamburg, Germany, after journeying through Ellis Island and Wisconsin. The rest of my mother's family came from Ireland. My father's family came to Canada from Scotland. For me the answer to the question where do you live is a suburb in Ontario, but I am from Ireland, Scotland and Germany.

Despite the fact that I never knew any of my family who made the courageous choice to come to Canada, they are a part of who I am. Had they not made the decision to leave what they knew and come to a place of both vast wilderness and vast opportunity, I would not be the person I am today. I owe a lot to my ancestors and the choices that they made. THey are responsible for shaping the life my parents were able to lead, as well as the life that I am able to lead.

Canadians carry within them a deep sense of where they came from and that shapes much of our national consciousness. We are all bound by a sense of belonging to a place that has adopted us. We carry where we have been forward into where we are going. We are who we have been, an immigrant population thirsty for freedom and opportunity. At the same time, we are becoming a people of many languages, faiths and traditions, conscious of our history while moving towards a new and brighter future.