Little Things

I discuss the idea of relationships a lot with one of my friends. There are some days when I get very frustrated with him because he can sound like such a know-it-all. I still listen to him though.

One of the conversations we had was shortly after I began the relationship I am currently in. One of the pieces of advice he gave to me (which I at the time got annoyed at him for) was to not forget about the little things. He said that big things in relationships are great, like nights out, romantic dinners, bouquets of flowers, but it the little things that keep the relationship going. The little things like asking how someone's day is and then waiting for the answer, leaving a Post-It note with a reminder that you love them, sending an email in the middle of the day for no reason, giving a back rub just because. It is the little things that show you care more than the grand gestures.

I have been in a relationship for two months and grand gestures are few and far between. The day is completely full of little things though. Sometimes they are as simple as wanting to spend time with someone else. Other times it is bringing back a present from a vacation, even when it's something simple. It can be bringing down a cup of tea to set outside a door. It can even just be a look across a room. Those are the littlest things in the world that many people don't think about, but that are so important for a relationship.

It's not just in romantic relationships that the little things are important. A housemate and I tend to make tea for each other on a regular basis. We have also been known to crack open a bottle of wine at the end of a long day. We go out for coffee on a regular basis simply to sit together with our computers and catch up on emails and blogs.

We tend to neglect the little things in our relationships because we think that they won't make any difference. The reality is that they do though. Even when it's something so small as asking how someone's day was. The small gestures of good will can make someone's day a good one just as easily as a mean spirited comment can make it a bad day.

We don't spend enough time looking for the little things we can do to make someone's day easier. We don't really make an effort to make someone's day better with a cup of coffee waiting for them when they get up or a kind word when they get home. Most of us can't wait for someone to come through the door to vent our own frustrations of the day. We don't look to help people in all the ways that we can. We don't show our appreciation when someone does something nice for us, or we do because we never expect someone to do something nice for us.

It's amazing the difference that the little things make in someone's day. You will have the chance to make someone's day today. Take it.