Damaging Joy

Over the past few months I have noticed in the music faculty that many of us are injured by what we love. Tendonitis is becoming more of a common problem than it used to be. I'm definitely not the only one anymore. Many of us cannot hold pens at the end of the night and have problems typing enough to finish essays on time. It's hard for us to let go of something that used to bring us such great joy is now damaging us.

It's almost like watching an abusive relationship. Or even just a really bad one. When you are in the relationship, you just see the happiness and the joy that exists there. Sometimes you feel the hurt, but the happiness overrides that. You ignore your friends because you think they just can't see how truly fantastic the relationship is for you.

The shoe is on the other foot when you watch someone else go through the same thing. You see the pain, and you see the damage. You think you know how to stop what is going on even when the person you're trying to protect doesn't seem to be able to see it. The happiness that is there is tainted by the damage that is done. And you want to stop that so badly. It's hard to be so powerless to stop that.

There is still the powerlessness to stop what is going on in our lives when we find our true joy is damaging to us. Whether it's in a relationship we know we shouldn't be in, or the job we do that makes us happy. We can sometimes see that what we love is damaging us, but we don't want to leave. It's hard to leave something that gives us joy. It's hard, but sometimes it might be worth it. To take the time and have the courage to find something that gives us joy without damaging our bodies or our hearts. It's really hard. But it might be worth it. Our joy will become healthy when it doesn't damage us. And it's worth it to take the risk to lose something that we used to cling to in order to find something we can hold on to.