Moving Within the Moments

I just finished a midterm. And what I am writing now does not mean that I do not care about my school work. Most of you who are well acquainted with my life will know that opposite is true. Walking into the midterm, I was not at all worried. Most of the people around me were cramming last minute or at least pretending to read over the notes for the last time.

The reason why I was less worried for this one midterm was an exercise in perspective that one of my friends used to put me through. He is currently on the other side of the world (possibly reading this) and his lesson has lived on. School is important, which is something I will admit to, but it is not the most important thing in life.

In the grand scheme of things, one test for one class in one year of university is not going to impact the rest of my life. I may think that it will, but it won't. When I am older, holding a job that I love, creating another family the history of American musical theater is not going to be nearly as important as it is now.

My life is really busy now and rather stressful. I get criticized a lot for all the work I take on and how much effort I put into the work that I have taken on. The reality is though is that I am aware this is not the most important thing. Sometimes I may fall out of touch with my friends and put less effort into keeping in touch, but I do know what is the most important thing.

The most important thing in my life is not my school work. It is the moments in life - the lazy mornings of watching the sunrise, watching the snow fall through the window, curling up with a good book and a cup of tea, sitting on the porch with a glass of wine and good company, going for walks around the pond. It is the moments of happiness, the moments of mourning. It is the time that we take with the small things in our lives.

I appear to be moving withing my own world of stress right now. For the most part, I am aware that I am. I don't always like it, but I know it is the fastest way to complete my degree and do a good job of it. I need to learn how to separate my world of stress from my world of real life, the world of connection and important things.

I know what it feels like to move outside the moments. I know that it hurts and feels empty. I'm attempting to learn how to move within the moments of my life. It is hard for me to be able to live within each moment when it takes so much more energy to do so. It is worth it though. It's worth it to live within the moments.