Confining Titles

The book I just finished reading had an interesting statement in it that I tend to agree with. The main character listed the titles that she held in her everyday life, mother, wife, sister. After she listed them, she realized how those titles don't have any way of showing how much each of those things entail in a life. They are not large enough to show what each of those things create.

I was thinking about the titles in my life and how small they seem next to what they really mean for me. I am a daughter. That may seem like something simple, but it comes with a whole list of responsibilities and things that are hard in life to do.

I am a sister. Also a best friend to my sister. That works out very well in everyone's life, but there is no way that the title of sister can tell all that that entails in my life. It doesn't show the joy, the tears, the fights or the love.

A few of the other titles in my life are student, teacher, companion, confidante, shoulder-to-cry-on, friend, partner and assistant. None of these titles can show in any way how important they are in my life. They don't show the unexpected joy that I find in doing the things that I do, or the complete and total exhaustion that results from trying to do too much at one time.

I am always amazed when people attempt to relegate another person the limits of a title. Titles do not serve to liberate anyone. They simply confine those who are in roles they don't like more firmly to those roles. They may simplify some things for other people (such as clarifications such as girlfriend/boyfriend) but they can also bring expectations that no one wants to meet.

For a long time, I resisted the idea of being titled as anything. The title I embrace most readily really means nothing when it comes to showing how I live. For the summer, and throughout the year, I work as an assistant. Trust me, the title means nothing. What I do every day involves being very involved with people who are totally open in their lives. They call me to be equally open and equally able to be hurt. The title means so little in that though. It actually means nothing.

When we assign titles to people in order to make things easier for others to understand, we don't always realize how confining those titles are, especially when they are not wanted. They can push someone into a place they don't want to be and make it very hard to get out of. Instead of using titles to confine those around us, and ourselves, maybe not having titles isn't such a bad thing. It may make it harder for new people to understand us, but it's worth it.