Matchmaker, Matchmaker . . .

" . . . make me a match. Find me a find, catch me a catch. Night after night in the dark I'm alone, so find me a match all my own . . ."

My sister and I used to sing this song for hours, hoping that some far off day in the future, our perfect prince and partner would be dropped on our doorstep. In retrospect, that was a very beautiful, sweet and unbelievably naive view of relationships. Some days I wish I could go back to that. The idea that Prince Charming would just appear and life would be happily ever after. I can't. I've learned that real relationships in the real world take work. Most days there isn't a happily ever after, but there is a together ever after.

A song from later in Fiddler on the Rood sums it up so well. The parents of the girls this story focuses on sing the most beautiful, romantic song. The husband is asking his wife if she loves him after 25 years of an arranged marriage. The wife lists all the things she's done for him over the years, keeping the house, making meals, giving him children, milking the cow and then she asks "If that's not love, what is?" After 25 years of an arranged marriage, they have truly learned to love each other. They haven't had an easy life, but they've had each other through it all. Maybe that's what makes it happily ever after. The knowing that someone will be there at the end of the day for you. It may be easier to find that in an arranged marriage where there is the thought that you don't leave this easily. With divorce rates so high, and people always thinking that there is something better, maybe a matchmaker could make a positive difference.

While I'm not particularly an advocate of arranged marriages, I have to admit the idea of matchmakers is becoming more appealing every day. It can be nice to have friends meddling in your live life because they can see what you can't. Recently a friend of mine was quite excited because I was going to get to meet her brother. The only problem with that was that he left to go back to Calgary today. I really appreciate the sentiment that was behind the enthusiasm, and I did like him, but I can't have another taking a piece of my heart off to another city, province or continent. There are too many pieces across oceans already. The one person who I quite enjoy playing yenta in my life is the resident wise man. He knows me very well and is willing to suggest matches with the men who wander in and out of his office as I am prone to do. The last suggestion he made I would be very interested to follow up on, although I doubt I will ever see him again. Oh well.

I will never object to my friends playing matchmaker in my life, because some days they can see much more clearly than I can. The only request I make of those who choose to meddle in my life and are so determined to make me happy is "bring me no ring, groom me no groom, find me no find, catch me no catch unless he's a matchless match!"