Finding New Settings

My housemate bought a new blender when we got to our apartment. We didn't have a really good one at our old house and it really didn't cut it for making our signature bad day drink. The new one we have is really nice and looks very fancy. It also has a lot of settings on it. There are ice crush, blend, mix, puree, chop, etc.

I've learned that there are some parallels in my life. The problem is that I don't have nearly as many settings. During the summer I don't really have to worry about many settings. I am relaxed and I am happy. The school year brings with it a unique set of settings for my life. They are stressed, busy, flying from one place to the next, and constantly moving. At any one moment, these settings are combined and slightly adjusted between them. Earlier this evening I realized what a toll this is taking on my life.

For the first time I am attempting a long distance relationship, something I said I would never do and thought those who did were crazy. Now I know they are. The only problem with going through different seasons with someone is that they see things they weren't expecting to see. My significant other is having a hard time dealing with the school me. He's accustomed to the summer form of my life where I am happy and life is good. I don't have to move very quickly between places and I'm never stressed. Not like this at least. It's hard to realize that free time disappears in many ways and choices have to be made about what is most important to get done. There are always things that fall through the cracks.

I've also lost my regular haunt this year. There has been a boycott of the music students' favorite pub for various reasons and that shut off an effective avenue of stress relief in my life. A guaranteed night away from my computer and the formal language of my readings and by necessity my writings was a welcome break. I'm attempting to create the same time in my life now and I'm not sure how I did it last year. I'm not really sure how I did a great deal of things last year.

One of my professors has mentioned something interesting about music. Being a music student it is incredibly easy to lose music as an outlet for yourself. It is easy to get caught up in the listenings that have to get done, the memorizing of the pieces and the endless performances. It's hard to find time to learn music that you simply enjoy learning and even harder to find time to simply sit and listen to the music that you like. It seems there is an adjustment to be made.

I realize that the settings in my life are not going to work. I am aware that they are too narrow and don't leave room in my life for anything that is really important to me. School is my life and I don't like it. There are only a small number of classes that I truly enjoy, but it is my Monday nights at L'arche and the weekends I get to visit that are truly important to me. As my settings narrow, my perspective is also skewed and it needs to be recalibrated. There are a great deal of things that must happen in order for the to work and I'm not sure if I can make it through the list that is that long. I'm going to give it a shot though. Because for the first time in two months I have a little bit of perspective.